WHAT!? New Social Media Network Wants to Corner the ‘Market’ on Unvaccinated Sperm

According to a new report that’s came out today, a social media platform says they are looking to create a marketplace for men who won’t take the Covid-19 vaccines to sell their sperm. Yes, we’re serious.

GETTR, which was started as a competitor to Twitter has undergone many changes recently, including seeing the likes of it’s CEO Jason Miller leave and go back to work for President Trump, and another top executive Kaelan Dorr also left, along with many others who were founding leaders of the platform.

With that loss, comes change, or chaos. It looks like utter chaos.

According to The Rolling Stone’s report today, the new group running the show is remaking the site to add an online clearinghouse for human sperm. But only the unvaccinated kind.

If you’re a pure blood, you may soon have an elite marketplace to sell your swimmers. We also want to clarify that this is The DC Patriot, we’re a news site, and not the Babylon Bee. This is a real story. Let’s continue shall we?

Three sources familiar with the matter, and a fourth who was briefed on the situation, describe this as serious, and repeated discussions about creating an online anti-tax semen market, in which unvaccinated men would self-advertise and sell sperm to the highest bidder.

Two of the sources told Rolling Stone that they might even go as far as to possibly having “testing requirements” to ensure specimens came from unvaccinated donors.

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Some of the staff have apparently expressed skepticism internally about the ability for this to be a real thing, or of the plan in general.

Restrictions on semen sales in other countries and other hurdles could come into play. All four of these sources spoke to Rolling Stone on conditions of anonymity to describe these deliberations, with one adding that “It’s just so embarrassing, man.”

One of the sources said It’s “the most ludicrous fucking thing to come out of pro-Trump social media in a long time, and that is saying something.”

A version ws apparently floated by one of GETTR’s most prominent backers Miles Guo, a billionaire fugitive of the Chinese Communist Party and friend of Steve Bannon.

Allegedly his “family foundation,” was an early investor in the platform The Daily Beast reported in 2021.

Guy was arrested on Wednesday morning at his New York Penthouse by the FBI on federal charges that he orchestrated up to $1 billion in fraud, largely by targeting retail investors with alleged phony opportunities using the money to buy luxury items.

According to Rolling Stone, a person familiar with GETTR’s operations derisively referred to the ideas for this potential makeover as the “Covid-Unvaxxed Jizz Market” plan.

The source blamed the idea on the departure of former CEO Jason Miller and others, saying without real leadership, it’s gone amuck.

“Gettr isn’t a serious place anymore, particularly after Jason [Miller] and other staffers recently left. It isn’t shocking that these ideas are being thrown around,” the source tells Rolling Stone. “People who are still there want Gettr to make money, but it’s just insane brainstorming to figure out how.” 

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