Here’s The Only Completely Correct Ranking Of Halloween Candy

Celebrating fall in the 21st century involves two rituals unknown to previous generations. The first is cramming pumpkin spice into any consumable bit of matter, be it lattes, muffins, or antidepressants. The second is ranking the various candies that people typically hand out to trick-or-treaters on Halloween.

The latest writer to undertake this task is Kelly Conaboy of The Cut. How respectable is Conaboy’s list? It’s hard to say. On the one hand, critiquing someone’s ranking of Halloween candy is a fool’s errand. Each palate is different, taste is subjective, and our preference for various treats is often driven more by personalized nostalgia than quality of candy. A hearty dose of respect, therefore, is due to everyone voicing an opinion on the matter.

On the other hand, everyone who disagrees with me about things like this is wrong, bad, and in need of public rebuke, including Kelly “I Make Bad Lists” Conaboy. So here is the correct ranking of Halloween candies.

To read the full list click HERE

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