Chemical Free Body

Beat the Left Daily: Ban the Smocking Guns

It’s not that this veteran struggles to maintain a sense of humor – the only person I like making fun of more than you is making fun of myself!  That’s not an exaggeration; I’ll throw myself under the bus in an instant for the chance of a chuckle.

But when “The Left” piles onto what may seem like another tweeting blunder by President, I’m not laughing!  See the potential blunder, below.

 

 

And out of the many poor attempts at making fun of an apparent misspelling by President Trump, whom wrote “… smocking gun”, Merriam-Webster had a witty response.  Most were terrible, but this one made me crack a smile.

 

 

Thanks for the help, Merriam-Webster.  Truly!

And I mean it when I say that I have a sense of humor — probably the best sense of humor you have ever seen!  After all, I am former USAF.

For instance, once of my favorite times to be alive is anytime the US Air Force is testing new uniforms – it isn’t just funny, it is outrageously funny.  Anyone that has ever served in the USAF, or any of those other branches, knows that we simply do it better than everyone else.  So when the USMC & Army started wearing cool new patterns… we went BIG!

Air Force BDU2

The advantages were endless!  And just because the designs accentuated blue, a color scheme that seems “abstract art” in the Middle East and Southwest Asia battlefield we were engaged in, doesn’t mean that there isn’t basis!  Like I said, the Air Force does everything better — there was data that suggests the blue colors blend in better on the flight lines, the preferred locale for ice-cream social.

I also had little doubt that somewhere, deep in the heart-of-hearts, the US Air Force wanted to be a little different that our brother & sister branches.  After-all, having a “unique brand” was all the rage, in those days.

Plus, there was surely a financial aspect — would could trade in out $100 boots for these $5.00 sandals and wearing sandals would surely help us blend in with local garb!  I kid, I kid!

Air Force BDU

Note:  I actually want to get a pair of these!

 

See — I have a sense of humor.  And to be clear, the Air Force really did have data that suggests that blue patterns would help in our environment, which is often concrete landscapes, where we do a better job at fixing/loading planes so that they can spend more time in the air — killing bad guys — than any other force that has ever tried!

“I have never seen anything like the American War Machine!”

It’s a lot easier to laugh at yourself when you are (or were) part of the most lethal fighting force in the history of the world!  It’s also easier to allow others to laugh WITH you, because when we sit down and drink beers with the other premier air forces… there simply is no comparison.

For instance, I recall having beers with a Brit, a veteran that served as a helicopter mechanic in Iraq.  He talked about how they couldn’t come close to keeping up, that no matter how bad they wanted… he had never “… seen anything like the American War Machine!”

It’s was a great compliment from one of our long-time partners in war — we probably drank 20 Tigers while talking that night, as he bemoaned the political situation in his own country.  It was late 2013 or 2014 at the time and I had NO IDEA how relevant the discussion would become.

What he was describing, or (rather) relenting, was the turmoil that would become the Political battle-zone we now know as “Brexit”.  Of course the vote wouldn’t occur for quite some time later, but he was describing the political atmosphere that lead to it.  His stories were dark and he was admittedly pessimistic about chances to regain the “Great Britain” that he once knew & loved.  In short, what he described, was a nation in an ‘identity crisis’!

The conversation, even with it’s notable “downs”, was much better than the one I had with a former British SAS member in Iraq in late 2015.  He didn’t “go on” about the political turmoil as much as the other — instead we talked about the challenges in Iraq, at a time when ISIS had graduated from the “JV Team” to a professional fighting force.  I use the term “professional” loosely, what I mean is financed.

This “Chap” was especially tuned-in to what was occurring in Iraq — he was the Country Security Manager for a highly recognizable Fortune 100 company.  Drinking coffee instead of beer, I asked, “What in the hell are our leaders doing to this place?”  He looked at me and said, “You know.”

That was the extent of recognizing the gigantic “Elephant in the room” — neither of us wanted to go further.  Instead, we bemoaned the fact that (then) President Obama had turned the worlds most lethal fight force into the worlds most capable messengers, referencing the recent episode of dropping warning leaflets (instead of destruction) on ISIS.  At least, for us anyway, it was a conversation we could stomach.

We do have a special relationship with the British — I’m not sure I can define it, but I know it is there and so do they.  It is remarkable thinking back to those conversations, with the luxury of hindsight, because whatever our “Special Relationship” is has made both of our countries do “strange” things.

It is also why, for me anyway, it is so hard to digest that they were, at least in some way, involved in spying on President Trump’s political campaign.  It would burn less, for instance, if it were the French.

All ramblings aside, I’d like to offer an “alternative fact”:  A “Smock” is an actual term for a type of clothing worn in the UK.  I am sure, because I recall demanding a legitimate explanation for why you would call something a “Smock” instead of a “Jacket”.  To me, it seemed just like a British marketing ploy; an attempt to create an identity that is different & better.

British Smock

 

Can I say that is what President Trump meant?  Can I tell you that when he said “smocking gun” it was just a play on words… when the real message was more along the lines of “Robert Mueller couldn’t find a smoking gun in the British spying efforts..” – no, I cannot say that.

But does it make more sense than POTUS misspelling “smoking” twice in just 240 characters!

What I can say for certain is that there is nothing funny anymore about #FakeNews media jumping to conclusions or thinking they get to spike a football — if POTUS had used the term “Smocking Guns” in a different context, I could provide some other “alternative facts”!

 

 

** Beat the Left Daily is a re-occurring op-ed where we demonstrate that we know Alinsky Tactics better than they do

** I am (Not Real) Brick Tamland — you can follow me on Twitter @NotRealBrickT

** You cannot follow me on Facebook, because I don’t do it.  In fact, I’m only here because #CNNSucks

 

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